; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
