Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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