If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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