Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
