Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
