I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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