So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
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