no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
