Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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