The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
