Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
