How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
