Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
