Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
