This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
whose parrot is this?
Randomize