All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I'm really busy with my period
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