im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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