Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
