my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Randomize
