need another drink. this is the easiest way
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
