Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
