i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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