So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
