how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
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