he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
