just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
