ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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