Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
