Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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