First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
