Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
