I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
mondays should just be called national damage control day
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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