Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
