Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
