I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
