i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
