Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
