so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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