dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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