mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
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