just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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