Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
