Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just took my morning after pill in the library
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
