so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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