before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
