you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize