My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
