Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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