I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
