why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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