in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
