i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
