Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
