Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
