areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
