Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
