Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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