My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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