I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize