With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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