weddingsv make me drug and hornr
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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