Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
