oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
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