im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
