I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
