i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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